Saturday, December 31, 2005

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The Cure...as bad as the infection

The infection was bad enough but the cure was a new low. I'd been through much in my life - diabetes, amputation 1st of my right leg below the knee and 5 years later the left leg, heart failure and a 6 vessel by pass, numerous eye surgeries, a fractured right hip, numerous infections, a kidney transplant 16 yeas ago -I'd always managed to bounce back but, all this coming so close together really threw me. I wished I'd just not awaken from the surgery. I seriously considered shooting myself.

Sue, my wife and soulmate of twenty years, kept me sane during all this. She has been a rock. It's been really hard on her. She's slept in chairs in my hospital room so Iwouldn't be alone at night. She's cleaned up my soiled clothes and cooked for me. She's always worked to keep me going and my spirits up. I owe her more than Ill ever be able to give. She does it because she loves me and I love so deeply it hurts.

The cure was massive doses of antibiotics. So much that it killed off all the microorganisms in my gut. This caused ten days of diarrhea. Which of course led to dehydration and yet another hospitalization.

All this combined for a new low. I never felt so lost and helpless before. I was about to give up but I didn't want to leave Sue alone. , although in reality she might be better off.

This brings me to today and is the reason for this blog. It's a kind of therapy for me. Iit helps me sort through my feelings and let others know where I'm coming from. It lets me share some of my photos which gives me grsat joy. So bear with me and my ramblings.

Some more photos tomorrow.

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