Fires of Hades

Forest of Hades

Things seem to be going well when all of the sudden, out of left field, you're hit by a freight train. O.K., it wasn't a train - just a small compact car. It's pain, just constant nagging pain. One that aspirin and other minor drugs have little or no effect on. It has become a constant and steadfast friend never leaving my side. I have befriended it, there by lessening it's grasp on me.

By focusing my mind on other things, I get by with my day to day life. The real trouble comes at night, when my mind relaxes and thoughts lessen giving the pain a foothold in my brain. Without activity the pain becomes central and takes the stage in a never ending opera.

On to a better subject. I recently purchased an old Crown Graphic 4x5 large format camera for black & white photos. It's a real old time photographers working camera. There's just something that working with it's large high quality negatives that appeals to me.

It's often said that life is a journey that begins with but one step. I have had a thousand stumbles on my journey and have yet to reach the summit. I struggle forward and upward on this up hill battle always holding out hope that I'll make it to the top to see the view.

Today's not been such a bad day. It was better than yesterday, just not as good as say three years ago feel as if I'm stuck in limbo - never really getting well but, not quite as sick as before. It'll be this way until I can receive a transplant. That's more than likely two more years away.

Until then I have to stay strong and keep my mind busy. I do this writing this blog and with my photography. It's still quite an emotional rollercoaster ride. One day up and hopeful the next down and depressed. I know it takes a toll not only on me but, everyone around me too. I try hard to be happy and there are some day and moments when I truly am happy but not as often as I would like to be.